Its Over for now

Well we have not updated the blog because we were trying to make things happen with the government, and the SDA. It was not a good week. After everything went south with Julia we put in a petition for a 3rd referral based upon the fact that the first 2 were for children that did not want to be adopted. It seemed very reasonable to us, and the short story for now is that we met with the deputy director at the SDA and she turned us down flat! We were well prepared and thought it should be fine but in fact she just told us " You only get 2 referrals and it does not matter if the information we supplied was wrong, or for that matter anything else. You are done...go home"

Paula and I were devastated as we met 2 girls Albina and Nadia , that wanted so much to come home with us. We even had video of them telling the director. We had hit a dead end...lots of time , money, and heart went into this endeavor and it seemed so unfair. We are back in Cleveland as of yesterday with just our suitcases, and very sad hearts. We left Albina and Nadia in Melitopal without a family and waiting for us to take them home with us.

When I get back into the swing , and have had time to reflect I will be writing an in depth article about the adoption process in Ukraine. If you were successful adopting there our blessings go out to you. You were one of the lucky ones. We found out lots of useful information for those of you who are in the process, and those considering Ukraine. Please be on the lookout for my follow-up.

In short lets just say for now that the Ukraine adoption process is wrought with corruption, payola, and built as an official told me to "milk foreigners like yourself for the benefit of Ukrainians"

Our hearts are broken, and our children remain in Ukraine.

Michael

Oct 2nd and too much Cognac

Hi Folks, 

I wish I was a good writer...man, could I write a book about this place. Sure makes me proud to be an American!

We are still awaiting the SDA's decision on a 3rd referral but were encouraged to stay here and spend time at the orphanage, rather than return to Kiev.  We went out to the orphanage today and brought a ping pong table, some paddles, and balls.  This particular orphanage appears to be pretty poor and there doesn't seem to be a lot for the children to do, so we thought this would be a fun and easy way for us to interact with the kids without having to worry too much about the language.    The kids were really excited and kept thanking us for the gift.  We also ended up in the Director's office, drinking some of his special cognac.  He is quite a jovial guy. We aren't big drinkers, but it was his way of showing his gratitude for our gift and we couldn't figure out a way to turn him down without being offensive.  He'd also had his assistant go out and get all sorts of pretty pastries for us, which we don't eat either.  And there was of course instant coffee and candy.  A 15 year old girl from Israel who speaks 4 languages, including English, served as our translator for the afternoon.  It was quite and adventure.

Our cab driver, Sasha, has made maybe twenty dollars a day driving us back and forth to the orphanage in his 21 year old car.  Today, he showed up to take us to the orphanage and told us that he was finally able to install seat belts....$10 for 2 seat belts.  

Waiting....waiting....waiting

So, we are still in Melitopol and waiting to see if the SDA will grant a 3rd referral for us since the first 2 children really didn't want to be adopted.  This is not something that they normally do, but we are hopeful.  We should hear something back Friday or Monday of next week.  

In the meanwhile we are blessed with beautiful weather.  We went to the market this morning. The food is wonderful and cheap.  I couldn't help myself and bought all sorts of fruit and vegetables....if we only had a place in our little hotel where we could prepare it.  The raw sunflower oil here is fabulous.  I bought a bottle and bring it with me to the restaurants for my salads.  We had a great lunch at our favorite restaurant, Classic, for $11.  Included pea soup, mediteranean salad, omelet with greens, and potatoes....Food and clothing are both inexpensive here.

We have decided to stay here instead of going back to Kiev.  There are a couple of girls that we

really enjoyed and would love to take home with us.  The Orphanage Director said it would not

be a problem for us to spend time getting to know them better.  If we get our 3rd appt. with the SDA, we could ask for them.

Keep us in your prayers, Michael and Paula

PS Michelle, I don't know how to respond to your comments other than to write in the blog....our facilitator is Konstantin Yakubenko.

Turn for the worse :(

Hi Everybody,

What an emotional roller coaster! If you have been following our blog you no doubt read a few days ago that Julia was doing great. Well, we spent the weekend with her and in a nut shell she would not talk to us, or even try. Our translator spent an hour talking to her and got nowhere.

Paula and I realized that whatever the problem is, she will never make it in our family. If we cannot communicate and she won't try then she would be very unhappy, and our family would suffer as a result. 

Last night we made a very hard decision - to pull the petition to adopt Julia from the court. We do not know what this will mean other than we may very well be coming home after a month with just our suitcases, and no daughter. Our hope is that we might have a chance to adopt one of the may other girls at the orphanage that were very excited to be with us and REALLY wanted to join our family... I expect by the end of the day today we will have some clarity and hear from our facilitator regarding any options that we may have. 

Please pray for Julia :)

All the best,

Michael

"Julia Nora Redman"

Today we filed papers with the court and gave Julia her official American name...Julia Nora Redman!  We were given the option of changing her birthday by 6 mos., but declined since we thought it would just end up being confusing.

Julia seems to be doing great and we are really enjoying getting to know her.  We found out that some of the care givers were telling her not to go to America...that we were bad people...but we don't know any more of the details.  Some of the people that we are working with have been able to dispel that information for her, so she seems more relaxed and smiles more often.  We plan to spend the weekend with her, so we should have more to report next week.

For anybody interested in adopting in Ukraine and feeling unsure about adopting older children, we will say this.....There are so many fantastic older children here (10-16), do not be afraid....we are wishing we had signed up for more.

Signing off for now, Paula and Michael

Julia & more detail 9-24-08

Hi everybody,
Sorry we have not updated the blog in a few days but our life has been a bit upside down and full of wait...wait...wait :) But Finally, we have something to talk about!

On our second meeting at the SDA we received a referral in Melitopal... a small town (village) in southern Ukraine. We left our utopia in Kiev and ...

We arrived after a 15 hr train ride at 7am. A quick drive through town and a visit to the local diner was a little frightening. We saw no coffee shops and very few restaurants. Actually, there are very few apartments as well, so we landed in a small hotel (5 rooms). Turns out to be very nice and includes breakfast every morning (same egg and sautéed cabbage), a great supermarket close by and Internet at the local pizza shop about 15 minutes away.



Our referral is for an 11 year old girl named Julia that is in an orphanage in the middle of nowhere, Ukraine. We went to meet her and everything went well...came to find out later that she spent summer vacation with her mother. Paula and I spent a long time talking about this and decided that we could not take her from her mother under any condition....


Today we spent the day with Julia and her best girlfriend, eating playing , shopping, and strategically asking questions to get some answers to the relationship issue that was troubling us. It turns out that Julia was picked up by her uncle for summer break and spent a few days at her mothers...she said there were complications...it was unpleasant and she wished that she had gone on vacation with the other children in the orphanage. We got no other details. Julia then told the translator that she wanted to go home with us today...immediately. She is ready to leave it all behind. What a relief to know that she is not wanting to stay with family, but what is it that went on that she wants desperately to leave behind.She seems so sad and we are concerned there is much more to the story... We will find out more tomorrow.

She is a sweet and shy girl. We are hopeful to take her away from this misery and make her part of our family....More to come...

Oh - one last thing - Julia's best friend, Albena, is a beaming little girl who is full of energy. If we can figure out how to do it, we'd love to take her home with us too.

Thanks for reading...Michael

Julia Sept 22,2008

Hi Everybody  - Here is Julia!

11 yrs old, very sweet, quiet and small.

 I have been having trouble pasting from word into this blog, even using a txt file. 

Still trying and will update this later IF i can figure it out.

We are still in Melitopal and will be here for sometime... don't know how long. Its and adventure we will not want to repeat! Details to follow...

God Bless 

Michael